


My Teammate is a Real Dick

by AyanoOtori



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Birthday Party, Collaboration, Comedy, Crack, Dick Being A Dick, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Food, Funny, Gay, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Slash, Jokes, Lots of switching personalites, M/M, Multi, Party, Pranks and Practical Jokes, So weird yet so good, Teasing, Wayne Manor, communicators, so cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 21:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4365134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AyanoOtori/pseuds/AyanoOtori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Bruce Wayne’s Birthday and all he really wants is...well it doesn't matter because it’s Dick’s night to prank the Young Justice League. Bruce complies with Dick’s plan and formulates a fake mission that brings everyone to the Wayne Manor for a night of double identities, pranks, and all around entertainment for everyone. Wally is aware that Dick has something planned, but this...Wally did not expect this. </p><p>Basically Dick's kinda a Dick.</p><p>Colab with QueenOfNorthEurope posted on A03, fanfiction.net and DeviantArt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bruce Butt

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, WOW FIRST AO3 upload ever!!! Woot well, collab done with my good friend AyanoOtori(LOL). A special thanks to google docs for letting us collab at the same time while in bed 25 minutes away from each other at 1 am. If you like it, please also let her know and visa versa! We appreciate it! Hope we did the YJ characters Justice...lol get it... Justice... anyways... Here is our little I guess romcom, more chapters to come! It's really cute and funny (or at least we think) . Anyways... ENJOY! (And no, we do not own Young Justice, DC comics, or anything affiliated with them (besides a few key-chains).

Chapter 1

Most of the members of the Young Justice group anxiously gather around the Large monitor, getting ready for Batman to assign tonight’s mission. Wally, as a waiting mechanism, is binge eating, Artemis is plotting said speedsters death, M’ggan is staring at Conner, and he’s is angsty and upset that he can’t be doing more important things (such as watching static) Speaking of static, the group heard a quick technical sound, then the dark knight and bouncing behind him was a sporadic Robin on the screen. 

“Robin?” the team asked surprised to see the boy on the other side of the screen. 

“Howdy!” Robin greeted with a cocky grin on his face.

“Robin, please” Batman reprimanded pushing the boy behind him so he may speak. “Robin, please...I can see you doing that.”

Robin stopped the faces. “Guess there’s no point in trying to fool a bat,” Robin shrugged, leaving Batman to actually debrief the team.

“Catwoman is threatening to steal a vase that is a heirloom and has been passed down the Wayne line for generations. It is said to be worth about eight million dollars. Our job is to stop and capture her before she has the chance to snatch it from him.”

“Our?” Kidflash asked confused. Why would Batman join them in such a low risk mission?

“WE’RE GOING TO A PARTAAYYYY!!!!” Robin cheered from behind Batman spoiling the surprise.

“Robin.” Batman warned again. “Yes, we are all going to the Wayne Manor to attend Bruce Wayne’s Birthday Gala. You all will be going in without costume while Robin and I scope out the perimeter. Since we will be out of range, we’ll be using communicators. Dress nicely. See you there.” Then the screen turned black.

“Too bad we won't get to see Rob in a (tight) tux” Wally groaned.

“What’s the matter, Wall-Man?” Artemis mocked, “Upset you won’t get to see your little bird all dapper?”

“Pfft!, No...I just….Just want to see him in normal clothes. AND He’s not my bird!” Wally pouted. 

“Sure, sure. Because all guys get upset about not seeing their ‘friend’ out of uniform,” Artemis smirked.

“Yeah,” M’ggan interjected not quite understanding what was going on, “Don’t most people want to see their “lover” IN uniform rather than out of it?”

“He-s no- Oh forget it. Let’s get ready to go,.” Wally turned his back to them and sped back to his room. Unknown to the rest of the team, Wally had the biggest smirk on his face. “This is gonna be so good!”

So the team split up and went back to their rooms to be met with proper attire laid out for them on their beds

LATER AT MOUNT JUSTICE *queue superfriends star transition*

The team gathered back by the zeta tubes. Wally was grinning like a madman talking at an alarming rate about what kinds of foods /Bruce Wayne/ must have. M’ggan was twirling around in her red floor length dress asking Conner what he thought about it, he was muttering to himself about how much he hates ‘penguin suits’ and how of it weren’t for monkeys, penguins would be what he hated most. And finally ,Artemis was loudly complaining about how unpractical it is to be wearing a dress on a mission, no matter the location. 

All four of them checked to make sure their comm’s were up and running and stepped into the zeta tubes and teleported to Gotham City. Once they arrived, Robin immediately contacted them.

“Dudes. You gotta see this house. It’s frigging amazeballs. It’s so traught. SB, I have no doubt that you will feel the aster when you see it.” 

Artemis lead them away from the zeta disguised as a broken,out of service phone booth and towards the direction of Wayne manor. 

“Geeze, Fartimus,” Wally began,” You really seem to know your way around this city. Weird considering you live in Sta-.” Wally was cut off by a jab in the stomach from Artemis.

“Shut up, Wally,” the archer said annoyed and stalked off ahead of him.

“Wow… she must be PMSing pretty bad this month,” Wally muttered to Conner.

“Wallace, I woke up in a kiddy pool of my own blood this morning, how would you like to go to eternal sleep in one?” Artemis said as she made her way around the corner.

Wally raised his hands as if to say ‘I’m backing down’ or something. And they continued on their way.

After a brief walk, they came upon what could only be described as an episode of /welcome to my crib/ manor. The grass was perfectly trimmed, the tree animals were not cut to pieces by a certain demon child, and the house was made of a beautiful Italian imported marble.

“You guys feeling traught or what?” Rob laughed through the comms. “So, anyway, Batman said he bailed on us. He’s got a meeting with Superman or something. The rest of the Justice League are already inside. So, KF, what does the lack of Batman mean for us?” they could practically hear the grin.

“We can actually join the party? Oh, Rob, please don’t kid me about this. I’m too excited.” Wally exclaimed. He was excited,not for the mission, but what Rob has in store for the young leaguers. 

Robin’s signature giggle echoed throughout the night sky. “You bet we can, but don't forget the mission. No stealing will be done tonight!”

“Okay guys, let’s go in, I’'m dying to see what the inside of that house looks like!” M’ggan exclaimed.

“Yeah, I hear Bruce Wayne is hella hot, so I want to get acquainted with his… bUTTrooM,” Artemis proclaimed.

“Artemis, I think you mean, his bathroom,” M’ggan explained, not quite getting her joke.

“Oh no...I meant butt. You’ll see once we get inside. With an ass that fine, I bet he has a room named after it.” With that, Artemis took M’ggan by the arm and practically ran into the Manor. Conner and Wallace followed behind them at a more moderate pace.

Walking through the doors, the group was met with a huge room with so many people and..

“OMG IS THAT A BUFFET TABLE!!!!!” Wally shouted.

As Wally fast walked to the buffet table, none other than Bruce Wayne and his ward Dick Grayson walk up to the small(er) group.

“I thank you as well as your older counterparts, for making it here tonight, We here at Wayne Manor appreciate the support you all give us.”

“Yeah, by the way,” Dick teased, “Where are your older counterparts? I doubt a bunch of teeagers are multimillionares.” he hoped the uncomfortable questions would make his secret team a bit on edge for the night.

“Oh, you know...they’re...around” M’ggan tried to explain.

“Mhmm, and Arty, so nice to see you in a dress for once,” Dick said smoothly. As he spoke, Wally returned to the group to see what was going on.

Artemis was about to retort before Dick cut her off.

“Oh wow, hey!” Dick greeted the “new member” approaching them, “I’m Dick, what’s your name,beautiful?” 

“W-Wally…” the speedster said bashfully, his ears tinted red. Oh he’ll get Dick later for this.

“I really like your hair. It suits your freckles.” Dick sensually winked at him then turned to the rest of the group that was attentively watching. This was already the best day ever for Dick.

Wally was about to smile, but he caught a glimpse of Bruce Wayne’s soul snatching glare. Wally gulped and averted his gaze away from the tall man and looked back at his son.

“T-Thanks,” he stuttered back, trying to motion with his eyes to walk away from the adults.

Dick laughed. “Let me show you guys around.” He turned his back towards the group, then through the comm whispered, “Hey, hows the inside looking guys? The outside is pretty boring.”

“Awesome!” M’gaan sort of quietly cheered. Although nobody else replied to the pre pubescent child, you could tell they were amazed.

“Aren’t you spying in somehow? I find it hard to believe you’re just sitting on the roof.” Artemis retorted.

“Of course I am. I’m just making conversation since I’m all alone up here.” ‘Rob’ stated casually, trying to speak quietly so as to not give away his secret identity. 

Dick turned around at this point and gesture and a few pictures on the wall of himself. He spouted off some history and what not and something else. But Honestly the rest of the group was too enamoured to really listen. 

“I like that kid’s style, don't you KF?” Robin asked through the comm as Dick turned around again.

“I sure do. Wouldn’t mind being best buds with this kid...although… he is a tad short, and a bit nerdy.” Wally teased.

“He’s pretty cute though, right?” Dick had to try to not burst out into tears. This is way too fun already.

“Kid Idiot, Boy Blunder. Quit talking about how attracted you are to Dick, and get back on task,” Artemis reprimanded, internally miffed that Wally was more attracted to annoying freshman Dick Grayson than her.

“And that’s basically the whole place.” Dick stated concluding his small tour. Thankfully he ended it at the buffet table.“Although,” he said oh-so-NOT-quietly aside to Wally, who was already stuffing his face, “I wish I could have showed you one more room.” And with that he sent another wink at the speedster. Conner, being so bored, started to keep a tally on how many winks this kid sent to Wally. Maybe he should tell Mr. Wayne his son has an eye problem at the end of the night. 

After that, the group decided to split up and “look for the suspect”. In all actuality, Artemis and M’ggan went to go stalk Bruce Wayne’s butt, Wally stayed at the table for a bit longer, and Conner went to go sulk in a corner next to a random guy in square glasses. The man looked at the 16-year old with slight disgust. Conner looked the man up and down to see he has a press pass to be at the party. He worked for a place called the Daily Planet. Hmm, how strange.

In the distance, Artemis and M’ggan glanced away from the infamous Wayne booty to see Dick and Wally laughing quietly at something or other. M’ggan leans over to whisper to the archer, “Hey, it seems those two really hit it off.” For some odd reason though, it only made Artemis mad and want to hunt the Wayne booty even fiercer. 

-

“Oliver,” Bruce started in a low voice. “Could you please keep you apprentice in line?” He looked utterly disturbed at all the attention he was receiving.

Oliver laughed in return, “Oh let her be. This whole mission is a fake anyway.”

“Yeah”, Barry interjected, “How did little Dicky convince you to do this anyway? This is supposed to be your birthday party.”

“Well,” Bruce started,” Dick doesn’t ask for much, but when he pulls those big blue puppy eyes, you’d have a near impossible time refusing him anything. And, plus… who doesn't like free entertainment?”

“So you’re just going to let him terrorize our proteges without any type of supervision?” Oliver asked, a bit amused by the idea.

“Please, I trust Dick completely. He did know my name before any y’all”

“You got a comm don't you?” Barry stated knowing Bruce way too well.*winkwink*

“Yep”

‘Nice.”

Bruce nodded in return and held out a few for the rest of the group. They all smirked and took one and waited for the climax of the night. 

~insert Superfriends star transition~

Artemis decided she should scope out the fine ass later and should start looking for any suspicious people who could be Catwoman.

“Hey, Robbie poo, Any news on the-” 

“So”, Dick started in a cocky voice, cutting off whatever she was going to say. Dick’s about to have some fun. “How’s school for you? For me it’s great. Although, my after school activities are a bit tiring.”

She scoffed, “How could mathgeeks be tiring. All you do is sit.”

“Well, Arty, it seems you don’t know everything about me. And math is tiring… of the brain. Oh and that selfie from your first day got 29784 likes on instagram.”

“You’re such a brat, you know that, right? Go back to your textbooks.”

“Oh you hurt me so, but do you know what I can do with all the math and stuff that I know?”

“Take tests. I dunno.” Artemis replied uninterested.

“Hack…” he said cryptically. He then turned to the near by Wally and said, “I can also see, as plain as day, that you and I added together would be great,” and he winked again. 

You could see, in the distance Conner taking tally of yet another wink and shake hands with the man with the square glasses. “I’ll be going now. Cake is soon.” he waved to them and trotted off.

“Oh wow”, Rob said over the comms once again. “That kid is annoying-”

“Tell me about it.”

“-ly awesome.”

“Shut up, Wally, literally nobody asked you,” Artemis seethed and stormed away.

“He’s got a nice ass though. Don’t you think Arty?” Rob teased.

“Bruce’s is better.”

At that. Dick almost tripped and all the peeping adults choked.


	2. The Climax

Chapter 2: The Climax

After giving Oliver the heimlich maneuver because he actually physically choked on an appetizer, the adults couldn’t help but to stare at where Artemis was. The unanimous thought of ‘did she really just complement the Batmans ass?’ rang through the superheros head’s. 

Dick shook that awkward comment off and made his way towards Conner.

“You enjoying the party so far?” he asked the alien.

“I guess. Mr. Soup and I have been getting along pretty well.” Conner said shrugging his shoulders.

“Mr. Soup?” Dick inquired.

“Yeah the guy standing over there. Said he works for the Daily Planet.”

Dick looked over to where Conner was pointing and raised his eyebrows. Said “Mr. Soup” looked at Dick and winked. Dick made a small amused wave towards the man and winked back, Conner took yet another tally of this wink. 

“Seems nice.” Dick stated. “So, I like to play this game of, ‘Who do you think Mr. Wayne will take home tonight?’ Who do you bet on?” he asked.

“Well, I see Mr. Soup staring at him a lot, maybe it’s just because it’s his birthday or something, but if I had to guess, I would go with Mr.Soup,” Kerner answered,

“That’s an interesting guess. I say it’s one of those guys over there.” Dick smirked and gestured to the group of leaguers surrounding Bruce. “Maybe that one with the red and yellow tie.”

“Fl- I mean Barry? Not in this lifetime, kid,” Conner said with a chuckled.

“Hmm,” Dick shrugged, “Agree to disagree. We’ll see who wins tonight.” With that Dick left to go torture someone else.

Artemis and M’ggan watched as Dick walked from Conner to Wally.

“Hey,” M’ggan whispered, “Do you think Dick’s gonna ask Wally to dance.”

“No! Why would he. That Dick is annoying as hell. Anyways, Wally’s supposedly straight,” Artemis argued.

“I don't know,” Rob interjected over the comms, yet again, “I bet they will. And I bet that Dick kid isn’t straight at all. No one has an ass that fine and didn't work for it.”

“Who wants to put money on this?” Conner asked writing some more notes down and taking yet another tally of Dick’s winks.

“Fine, I will. Ten bucks says Wally rejects Dick if he asks him,” Artemis growled and slapped the money on the table.

“Arte-miss….no one is near you right now to take that money…” Rob cackled. 

She looked around to realize Rob was right. She had slapped a ten dollar bill on a group of elderly woman’s table. M’ggan was by the drinks, and Conner was standing next to Mr.Soup again.

“WH-...Well…”

Conner came by to pick up the ten and stop any lame excuse that Artemis would have made.We didn’t want another spelling bee in Gotham fiasco. 

“Nice one. Anyway. Watch them.” Rob said, turning all their attention to the two boys.

Dick struts right up to Wally and holds out a hand to indicate he wanted to dance. Wally accepted the hand, much to Artemis’ chagrin, and followed Dick towards the dance floor 

As they’re dancing, Dick converses with Wally about his plan.

“You ready Wally?” Dick giggled, getting really close to Wally’s ear.

“Oh you know it! How are you doing the Rob and Dick thing so well?” Wally whispered back, trying to get close to Dick. They both knew they had everyone’s eyes on them.

“I’m the Boy Wonder. How else? And as a head’s up. I’m going to ‘disappear’. So pretend to be worried.” Dick’s face had an eerie grin, meaning something big was going to happen.

“Dude this party is so great! Tell Alfred that his food is spot on.”

“Will do,” Dick said with a small chuckle. With that, Wally lead them around the dancefloor, swaying as if they were the only two in the room.

Over the comm, the team heard Robin’s exasperated squawk. “Wa-allllllllly,” the young boy started,”I totally had dibs on Grayson. If you don’t stop dancing, I might just have to take him away from you for some fun.”

“Sure, Rob, sure you would. And Artemis is going to be wearing a pink tutu tomorrow for training,” Wally laughed back.

“We can all hear you two,” Artemis cut in. 

To quote her on her first day with young justice, the both replied, “Oh… I know,” in a silky voice.

Wally and Dick laughed and swayed to the music until the music changed into a more, upbeat tone. Dick winked at Wally then walked away, swaying his hips. And I bet you know what kerner was doing at that moment: Tallying.

“Guys...okay Guys...That Dick kid. Damn. He is sooo cute. Aint that right KF?” Rob practically squealed into the comms.

“Oh yeah. Did you see his little hip sway thing! So hot.”

“Totally did!”

“Can you guys please tone down the gay? We’re still trying to scope this place out.” Artemis deadpanned.

The party went on for a bit more until it was cake time. Bruce Wayne went up to the top of the stair case about to make a speech. As he walked up, the team noticed Bruce searching for something.

“What’s up with Mr. Nice Ass?” Artemis asked also searching for something.

“Robin, you see anything?” M’ggan asked slightly worried.

“Catwoman is spotted on perimeter, see her over there.” All joking now gone from his voice. Through the comm you can hear he was moving.

“But Bruce would’n-” Wally started.

“And Dick’s gone.”

The team inside try to stay in the shadows looking for any signs that Catwoman is here. While they move about Bruce goes through his speech. Through out the large room, the team scopes and wanders trying to find either Dick or Catwoman.

“Ro-” Artemis was about to ask if he still has an eye on Catwoman when she here’s a loud crash.

“Rob! Are you okay? Did you fall?” Wally tried to ask. His fake worried voice...not that great, but the rest of the team is too on edge to notice.

Nothing came from the other side of the comms.

“M’ggan…” Artemis tried again.

“Can’t He’s out of my range.” She exchanged worried glances with the rest of the group.

“Then I’ll go out there an-”

“A-Ahhh…”

“Artemis?” Wally asked, suppressing a giggle.

“T-That wasn’t-”

“Nghhh...Ahhh!”

“Rob… you okay up there?” M’ggan asked.

“What’s going on? Does-” Artemis tried until she was interrupted by another... noise.

“Ah! R-right there, Boy Wonderful..ahh.”

“I-Is that...Dick’s voice?” Wally helped...seeing as it was taking a while for the group to understand.

At the sudden realization, the entire team’s faces flushed.

“Robin… are you with Dick?” M’ggan asked.

“Guys, im a little tied up right now, well rather he is. Either way we can’t talk. You’re ruining the moment,” was Robin’s haisty, raspy reply.

The group heard grunts and moans continue to come from the comms. frozen, the group just stared for a bit, soaking in what was actually happening right now. Rob and Dick are up there having... 

“Robin! What the hell?” Artemis practically screamed through the comms, “What are you doing? Cat-”

Another loud set of moans came and if it were even possible their faces turned even brighter.

“Artemis…” M’ggan started quietly, “I think they’re-”

“I-I know M’ggan. I mean why.”

They looked around, trying to forget what they just heard. They see Bruce sitting stoic as ever, Barry and Ollie suppressing giggles at something, and oddly Mr. Soup with a nosebleed passed out.

Conner has a small look of surprise on his face and write yet another note in his tally notebook, then resumes pretending he can’t hear the moans of pleasure through the comms.

On the roof, Dick sits with a voice recorder playing a set of moans while he adds in his own. The young boy suppressed his laughter into his hand and continues to moan even louder. Thanking himself for putting up some cameras in the room below. he was so going to rewatch this with KF later. Maybe Bruce would let him stay over, and maybe he would be able to use his moans for real.

Seeming to completely forget that Catwoman exists, the team continues to awkwardly walk around pretending nothing is happening right now...on the roof… directly about them…

Wally seemed like he was going to explode so he speed off somewhere. Artemis and M’ggan shared a look of concern for him. They thought he left because he was upset, not that he left because he was about to pee his pants.

As The great and stoic Bruce Wayne finished up his speech, Rob and Dick seemed to finish up too.

“Ahh...ngghhh...you’re really great Dick...ahh!.”

“ R-Rob...hah..I- I…ahhh!”

“Ahh..hah…”

“Rob….I’m- ‘m gonna-” and with that Robin’s comm went silent.

Artemis and M’ggan were holding on to each other for dear life with faces as red as Flash’s suit. Wally walked back in the room a minute later. Conner was still in the corner with Mr. Soup. He took his comm out a while ago, but he could still hear with his special hearing.

Oliver and Barry were crying in the sidelines holding their stomachs. They expected something good, but not this good. Bruce sat down AFTER his speech and contemplated what he heard over the comm.

Dick came back a few seconds later, he made sure his tie was a bit crooked and his hair disheveled before approaching the team again.

“Hey guys, did you enjoy yourselves? Thanks for coming to my dad’s party.” he told trying to control his laughter. Their faces were priceless. “I’ll see you in school Artemis.” and with that he waved them goodbye.

The team awkwardly made their way towards to door and thanked Mr. Wayne for the...nice party.

As they were heading out the door, Mr.Soup handed Conner 20 bucks for he lost the wink bet. 

Conner then turned to Bruce and said, “Mr.Wayne, I think you need to get your kid’s eyes checked, he winked 87 times in two hours.”

Wally passed in front of them and waved to Dick with a big grin. Dick waved and winked back.

“88!”

Now it was only Dick, Barry, Clark, Bruce, and Oliver in the foyer. Dick turns to Clark after SB left and said, “Mr.Soup… really? Mr.Souperman. Wow real original.”

“The kid believed it, no harm done.” Clark grinned and left the manor.

Now that it was only Barry and Oliver left, they smirked and told Bruce it was, “The best entertainment i’ve ever had at a party,” and hand over their comms. Dicks face turned bright red as they walked off.

Bruce turns to Dick, and Dick asks, “You heard all of that?”

And Bruce’s only reply was, “Laid it on a little thick with the moans there, chum.”


	3. Bonus: How This All Started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayano is regular, Queen is Italicized. This is actually the trash we wrote that inspired this story. we decided on a prompt and then this.. happened. OMG we say big girl and boy words, so if you no lieky, dont read. it aint important to the plot in any way. Enjoy, we probubly got more laughs out of this than you will, but we hope you find some humor(and lots of 50% off refrences!)

Ayano is regular, _Queen is I_ _italicized_

 

 _Daddybat and bbyDick are having a big nice gala. The gala is for daddybat’s  brithday lol.go big or go home is his BW persona so he has to throw himself a huge one_. and he gets a tip as the bm that someones gonna try to steal something _ALFRED THEY GONNA STEAL THAT MOFO._ so he calls ion yj to go undercover to help. Except...little did yj know that this was all a set up. bbyDick just convinced Daddybat to throw this party so he can have some fun.daddybats doesn't know anything that dick has planned ( _when he gets kidnapped, he is concerned until he hears on the comm robin being an ass.) Batman and robin are scoping the party from the outside is the excuse they use so that as the excuse why rob cant go._

 _So when yj shows up with their mentors Batman briefs them on the “mission” m’ggan is excited because this is totally gonna be like that dance episode of “hello,megan”, right? conner is like fuck penguin suits,Arty is all I’M GOING TO SEX THE BRUCE...secretly, Wally is so ready to die laughing and eat all that yummy alfred fooder?????_ FOODER

 

After the debrief, they hand out the comms and shit, then “Split up” (bby and daddybat go change hella fast) they get changed, _m’ggan and arty all like bro bruce wayne is a fucking hottie, and loaded af. KALDAR IS IN ATLANTAS !!!! (that helps. Better then a he died situation.or worse...expelled)_

 

_ok they changed, we get a look in what each of them think, they get to the place in gotham where it is being held, and who do they see but moneybags daddybats and adorable bby dick._

 

Arty and M’ggan comment to wally( and dick over the comm)            I _SEE YOU THERE MUMMY, IM COMIN AFTER YOU, AND IM GONNA STEAL YOUR PENIS._ you’re too late..the dolphin already stole it. _LIES YOU ARE NOT HARUKA FUCKING NANASE_   that is true..i am just a mere ananas. _SAME BRAH_        how cute and oddly attractive bby dick (always) is IN HIS WITTLE BBY TUX. Wally confirms...but says he’s a dick. _lol_ Arty slaps him saying. that’s not nice.arty would totally make a comment about all the times he comes up to her at school and tries to talk to her, saying really odd things. underherbreath ( _apparently spacebars dont happpen for chinese ppl..._ FUCK YOU.) she tells rob that dick is cuter and smarter than he is.

                                                                                                                                                          ENoUGH SpAECE FEr yOu     ( _eys… wow yes)_      how many sites are we posting this to? All of them?? _ill fanfic you da, and we will copost on ao3? oh_

you can do that?pfft

 

 _OH AND THAT dick IS A SUPER GEEKY WEAK ASS NERD WHO IS BULLIED BUT SHE FEELS BAD FOR HIM_. M’gsdan;aijkvlnaedfibjklcmz  is all awww, he’s so cute tho...and rich! and KERNER is all wtf? he’s a kid . Conner(stupid ass spelling) is all he cant be more than 10, and arty is like no he is 13, and they marvel at how teeny tiny he is. Wally says he looks cute. like a birb...yes. dick says howdy to all the guests as they enter . _bruce bragggggs to everyone about bby dick._ Oli, Barry, and..????? all walk up to bbyDick and Daddybruce with their underlings and introduce themselves. Dick makes dickish jokes. Wally probably winks and flirts, _daddybruce glares at wally hella._ but not batman strength. _no ceo of billion dollar company glare._

 

(Instead of actually writing we should just submit the outline...like just leave it like this. no dialouge...no emotions...just like this) I’d  laugh so hard .outline could always be  a bonus chap at the end. like we dont correct anything and put all and submit it all with the caps )

 

(Ayano changed font to comic sans _) fucking hate you go die in hell with m’gggannsxbakizbwshoqkdh3oruwqbha_

I’m crying. _cry the comic sans tears_

 

THIS HURTS.. LET’S NEVER USE THIS. ever.

kk here. lets continue (kick back to last year..in school...with essays _)we doing this for now on with essay editing and shit jsyk._ George pls.better than the robot voice. pfft

 

daddybruce brags and glares at wally And wally is internally laughing cause bruce can’t make the batman face but he still needs a face...and he can’t quite convey his emotiong]rafvcz jbhx m. feels.

 

 _arty is chckng brce the fuck out_ (PLease wrte wth vwls) _(no im fucking sweden)._ (‘m fckng cryng

Where even were we? DADDY BRUCE NOT SO SCARY GLARE. Ahh okay. arty having her i gonna fuck that face on while looking at bruce pFFT. Kerner is all “hey” you big..respect man...but sorry my gf is gonna be all over your ass...like my dads would be. cause it’s nice _. and hes all yep all both of my dads (while unkown to him clark is there nd heard him… because nobody apparently can tell supes plus glasses is clark. and clark has super hearing and is blushing af)_ lol… mr. Soup is just sitting upstairs listhing...wow...i can write with a lisp...fuck _you. so can i, but i wont. bc thats gay and i HATE TH44 GAYZZZZZ AHHHHHHHHH((lol jkjkjk love em to death)_  Clam dern. ANYWAY...Soup is just giggling upsars by himself. cause this is some quality shit.

 

Jiggling...omfg...can you imgine]\\]p[o’;pljkhjghfgdfsdawerytuyiuhil;jk’l  
{P”;ol7ir3e2    fwnedewjonlj fuck you running AFGFHXKVBJLK;L  
“:/L.HY TGRABEFSÎ©

 

OKAY.. all the mentors are like..kk let me speeeeeeeek to the big man with the nice ass while you guys go play with his little gay bby _dadfo (not a mofo cuz he gay)_ son (my mistake) _wait tha means he fucks bruce if hes a dadfo, well,... nvm idc._ And all the little goats _(GOATS)_ are like lol kk. let’s play with this little thing. (YES GOATS. BBY GOATS ARE CALLED KIDS) Wally is like i sure as hell will play with that lil bby  . wally making fun of dick, asking if he’s even old enough to do BLEEEEP  or _BLEEEEEEEP EEEEP SHEEP CREAP CRAPE LEAP MEAT SLEET PETE_ PEEEETTTTTSTSSSSSS _PETER PARKER SIPDERMAN. ILLUMINATI CONFIRMES_ Wtf…. (LEAVE MY IMPERFECTIONS)

 

 _Anyway...when all the little bbys leave, daddy bruce is all omg ‘ese kids got somethin’ comin’ fer ‘em. And he passes out comms to them like as if they are bbys and the comms are candy. giddy . the word i was looking for was giddy_. So they all getting ready for the...climax...of the night… _:o usurper_

 

So Wally chats up dick for a bit for a quick debrief of what’s gonna happen. Dick stays vague so Wally has some fun. Arty and M-gakjbdvc see them and think “awww how cute..they gay...wally’s blushnig” When really all wally is trying to do is hold in his laughter. _omg yea. and arty is like i ship them. and m’gklwkjfucker is like ship? and arty starts taking and the dialogue...s and pans on conner brooding in a corner eating not even realizing soup_ (EXCUSE YOU! IT’S MR. SOUP TO YOU!) _is next to him doing the same. im_ _cRYING MR. SOUP_ _FOR_ (PRESIDENT) _GIVE ME FOR THE ERRORS OF MY WAYS. STFU ALLI MR SOUP CANT BE PRESIDENT AND THE BLUE BOYSCOUT… AND STILL WORK FOR THE DAILY PLANET, AND GET SEXTS FROM LUTHOR._ i thought you were going to mention the rule...like pres must be born in the US... _NEVER MENTIONS EXTRATERRESTRIALS, SO TECHNICALLY HE CAN._ are you implying that Mr. soup once rode in a bike basket? _NOT ET. H IS NOT THE ONLY FUCKING ALIEN ON THIS PLANET. YOU KNOW THAT. SUPERMAN WAS FROM FUCKING RED SUN PLANET. NO0T … NOOT. EVEN THE SAME SUN AS US,_ Agree to disagree. you don’t know what ET was about. _HE PHONED HOME I GET IT, MR SOUP STAYED HERE,_ you dont know his life. maybe he told his friend Mr. Soup that this was a chill planet. And was all yo, bro, check out the tiny ass planet. you’ll have so much fun there...the things can’t do shit. I was put in a basket.

_EVERYONE ON MR.SOUPS PLANET IS DEAD, HE IS THE LAST KRYPTONIAN, SO MR SOUP HAD TO COME TO EARTH AS A BBY. BBY CLARK IS AN AMERICAN ON RE CORD SO THE GOV WOULD NEVER KNOW CLARK FUCKING KENT WASNT AMERICAN SO HE CAN BE PRESIDENT_

 

. you dont know me. you dont know my life...that’s a joke...you know my life...you basically live in my house...we are practically the same person. tru bro, anyways we gotta publish this. this is cometic **_gold_**. as like a bonus tho i still tihink. i hate yoour guts _. you dont mmake the gold fucking italicized underlined bold gold. the fans wont even see it. except you_

 

Now they can… it now at size 24 font _.the color and fonts doo not transfer 0ver, dumbass I’LL FIND A SITE THAT DOES._ that’s so dumb tho...I want to express( _JEANS)_ my feelings in font and color. _WELL NOBODY GIVES A Flying_ d _UCK_ _WHAT YOU WANT.THX\_

_LOOKS LIKE A DUCK , QUACKS LIKE A DUCK, SORRY BUDDY I DONT GIVE A FUCK_

Dont delete my awes\

 

Anyway...back to the actual story. now I gotta fricking look back…...cause we got off on a big ass tangent. (lol subtle math insert) _literslly i read in sejjuro’s 50% off voice_ )  good.

Okay Mr. Soup is with soupJr. eating in a corner, Jr. doesn't notice MR. cause he’s mopey about how his gf is hitting that bat ass. _and that his mentor isnt there but everyone else;s is._ PFFT. Then the story pans over to arty and wally talking about how wally has got the hots for bbyDICK. and Rob comes over the comm saying “WTF GUYS??? THE MISSION??????? I’m going to take that kid away from you if you can’t focus.”

 

my back just cracked a thousand times...i got up _. good, you deserve nothing more._

 

_i hope the ppl who read this think its one person with multiple personality ot scitsofreia (wow thats spelled right)_

I kinda wish we could write in differnt colors so they know who is who… same oR DIFFERNT FONTS. _lol one can be bold. we are the differewnt harus in one persons head in a different dimension. thays why we similar but different ._ YOU’VE CRACKED THE CODE. _tbh i kninda believe it, that may be 1 am talking to me, but, could be dude. if Mr. Soup doesnt exist why do we really exist._ no.

 

“THE MISSION!” And everyone is all oohhh yeahhhh…. _ooohhhhh yeahhhhhhh_ so they sorta go back to doing the mission...for 5 mins...until arty and M’ggrasshopper find Brucey-poo and start hitting on him, which catches the attention of the mentors and they just die laughing.esp ollie lol.

 

This is my favorite piece of literature. _same_

 

 _NOW pan back to….bby Dick and KERNEL. talking about something really dumb, like gum flavors or some shit, or omg making bets on who bruce takes home to fuck for the night,_ yesx9 i feel the other heros are making bets on if wally and dick will dance _. AND THEY CAN SENSE THAT BRUCE BET NO. SO THEY GO DO IT_. and artsy and M’cganasmnda are all omg they be perfect husbands. they all blushy...but once again...they just whispering the plan and fricking laughing. so then they go on _. it is dinner time now and everybody is sitting down to eat, and who is missing but bby dick. bruce looks concerned (didnt know this part until he hears rob on the comm later)_

 

Everyone hear’s rob say “Target spotted. now entering the building…” So everyone is on alert...wally is grinnin...arty thinks cause of food so she slaps him. then...then all of a sudden MOANS.

 

Wally tries to stick to the plan and asks “Hey, R-Rob? What’s going on up there? did you get hit? _and omg you hear dick on the comm going “ y-yes, right there boy w-wonderful_ ” Dick’s got a little tape recorder up there to help with the overlapping moans _. yep. and thats when everybody realizes bby dick is gone. bruce what does he do bro? does he announce his ward son is missing_ He probably will just “send” alfred to go fetch Dick. trying not to make a fuss about it but he’s “obviously concerned”  trie’s to keep the crowd out of the loop. Ollie and barry turn away from bruce...cause they’re dying. Arty and M’gskdfjn are red and have froze(squeeling in fangirl heaven, _arty asks wally why he doesnt join them in a 3way_ ). Wally’s face lights up red...he’s holding his breath. More moans ensue. and the can hear banging...lol through the comm that is.Arty takes back the joke cause she thinks wally is hurt..cause she “knows” wally and rob have a thing...but really Wally is going to implode. He gets up to “pee”   _and wanks off in the toilets_ . Not where i was going but kk.WE FORGET ABOUT KERNER. _kerner has rtskin the comm out like a hour ago per usual._ pfft. at this moment he listens in to M’gannns and understands all of the expressions everyone else is making. then he notices Mr. Soupy dead on the floor upstairs. _like anime nosebleed/ghost for a second lleaving body dead or ded ded? anime style._ there could be a third option….the shakespeare dead..he could have left with brucey. we dont know...we all litening in on the fake porn.tru.

_ (link to 5ever story) _

 

FUCK NO. FUCK YOU. I FUCKING HATE THIS. GO FUCK A CACTUS COVERED IN ….would vaseline make it better or worse? idk in your case… _lol i love 5ever she was ded. i meant to say i would love you more 5ever that mean he love her mor than 4ever_

 

Anyway...everyone is stunned...and just listening to robxdick. till then can hear Dick’s little orgasm...then Arty cuts in with WTF?!?!?!?! I feel like they should scramble around more before then get to the porn.lol. so time goes on, they hear the porn , the party ends, wally walks back into the room, and then dick walks in in time to twll everyone goodbye. (His tie a bit crooked..his hair a little messy)

 

so all the BBY GOATS say goodvye rather awkwardly. and wally waits behind to say goodbye. so they exchange goodbyes and they go to walk away, and wally hears bruce say, _‘you layed the moans on a little thick there, CHUM” queue dick blushing so much_ “Your pants were a little tight. Atry liked yo butt.”


End file.
